On a picture my friend took for me

Thanks to Chen Yuan for sharing my image out, - like everyone has not been fed up with it!

The last time I paid attention to my own appearance was many years ago, when the cutest girl in my kindergarten pushed me out of way for a nasty handsome boy much taller than me. Back then there was not much I could do about it. A fight with him ended seconds later with my walking away with a bleeding nose, and I had already given away all my favorite toys and candies to the girl. So with a broken heart of a four-year old I only watched from distance that they were savoring my milky candy. For the first time in my life, I vaguely realized that girls prefer certain type of appearance to my own...

Before long I left kindergarten for school. It turned out a more challenging place to win girls' favor, especially in our junior high school. For a while they all seemed to have a big crush for our P.E. teacher. Then the fervor expanded to those boys who were good at sports. Anyone who ran fastest, or jumped furthest was treated like hero. The girls always stood around the basketball court and cheered for the team. I was two-year younger than most of my classmates and in consequence was disqualified from the team every year. But I was not completely forgotten. I was ordered to hold the clothes and school bags for the players. Last year when I went back for class reunion, most of girls didn't remember me, but they still had vivid memory of the huge pile of clothes and bags on court side. They were very surprised to know that I was buried underneath it.

After school I came to New York City, I felt relieved that in this big city girls don't value running and jumping as much as the rest of world. I figured running and jumping are useful when you hunt animals in tropical jungle. But a lot of girls in New York are vegetarians, or at least feel shameful to admit they eat meat. So you see how the world changes over time. I was grown up too. I was cautious enough to ask what the girls want before I do anything. Most of them said man with depth. The moment I got the answer I went back to pick up Shakespeare and Kierkegaard and tried my best to learn how to pretend I understand them. After practice at home for months, i finally had the courage to ask a pretty girl from Department of Philosophy out. It went well except I mixed Plato with Pluto and spend great length of time on other cartoon characters. But she was fine with it. Years later when she married to a multi-millionaire and became a housewife, it finally dawned on me that they meant depth of one's pocket, not mind. Well, it is always good to know.

Thanks again to Chen Yuan. It's always nice to reminisce one's life while looking at oneself in picture. The most important thing is, I realize that I am not losing hairs or becoming bald or anything. I am just pro-hat now.